Southwestern College Collegian

Issue date: 3/5/08 Section: Personal Column

I saw these words on a bumper sticker the other day and it got me thinking about how very true that is. While shopping online for classes, many of us are trying to find the ones that aren't held on Friday afternoons or, God-forbid, on any day before 10 a.m. We're trying hard to find living arrangements with our friends who don't step on toes with the grim understanding that yes, whoever I write down on this form I will have to live with for an entire year. As if college weren't stressful enough already. So, instead of spending countless hours worrying about the details, I've decided to take my time here in a different direction. Instead of fitting into the college's schedule and lifestyle, it's now going to fit into mine. First step: Classes. I must have eaten a bad brownie right before I signed up for this year's classes. Every morning at 7:50 I find myself making my trek across campus looking like a completely miserable hobo. By the time I get to class, I'll have been awake for a total of 13 minutes, just enough time to take a swipe at my armpits and stare at myself for 30 seconds in the mirror before saying, "Oh well." Next year's going to be a different story. After a careful process of reflection, I've decided that I function best from about 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. This will be my window in which I will consider adding classes. Any teachers who have classes within the allotted period of time will have his or her name written down on a sheet of paper. The list of names will be photocopied at least 200 times and a survey will be taken by various students asking them to rank the teachers in order, from most to least in these categories: How much homework they assign, how many people have cried about the teachers' classes, and how much butt kissing it takes to get an A in the class. Something started to sound really wrong when I was thinking about having classes from 11 to 2, and I figured out what it was. I hadn't allowed a lunch period. I will now be having classes from 11 to 2 with an hour lunch break whenever I choose to take it. I don't know how many years it will take to graduate from college with a schedule like that, but I'd assume that it's quite a few, and I'd like to be comfortable while I'm here. I don't require the perfect place to stay or anything, because I'm just not that picky about where I'm living, but I'm going to need someone to live with who won't drive me into a deep depression by my education's end. This was the difficult one, because I have so many standards when it comes to my future living-mate. Psychology tells us that people who are the same tend to get along better than people who are different. However, the only other person I know who was "practically perfect in every way" was Mary Poppins herself. What a dilemma. I carefully outlined a list of traits that I'd like for my roommate to have. First and most important was someone who wouldn't scream at me every time I accidentally left a dirty sock on the floor. Someone rich would be nice also. Amazing cooking skills would make up for those that I seem to lack, and I like to live as drama-free of a life as possible, so my roommate would probably need to be a boy. After narrowing down my options, I realized that I'd picked out the Take Home Chef as a roommate. I thought that might be nice. I wouldn't have to put up with much, only about once a month when he surprised me at the grocery store as I was shopping for ramen noodles. With the perfect class schedule and the perfect roommate, I'm certain that next year will be an emotionally successful one. I may need to change my graduating year on Facebook to 2025, but I'll eventually end up at the same place as all the other graduates in the world: with a diploma. At least that's what I plan on telling my dad when he gets my forwarded loan bill a few years down the road.

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools